So . . . I am waiting . . . waiting waiting waiting!!!! Jeff announced today that Gracie will be late because just like "her mommy, she will be late to her own birthday party". Which . . . is true. I am always late . . .late to work, late to parties, late to make dinner . . . always late. So for all my dear friends who have had to wait for me it seems payback will be hell. I have to come to terms with the fact that this whole early dilation and effaced business was just a cruel trick from the labor gods for payback for every time I said to someone "I will be there in 5 minutes" knowing darn well I was at least 20 minutes away!!
Things not to ask a pregnant woman . . . Jeff: "So is today the day?". Well, OK Jeff actually it is . . . I have just been keeping my legs crossed. She was actually ready like 2 weeks ago I just enjoy being tortured from the inside out. I guess today will be the day I let her come out . . .
My mom: "Don't forget to call me . . ." Mom I promise as this child is slowly clawing me open from the inside out you are always on my mind. I will forever be grateful that you endured 8 hours of labor (without pain meds). . . not to mention sitting in the car while my father stopped for scotch and cigars while you were in labor(perhaps should have been an early sign), not to mention the blood transfusions you needed after I was born. It would be pretty hard to "forget to call you"! Also my mom's favorite question "are you feeling anything??" Well that depends . . . do you mean constipation, sciatic pain, elbows and heels protruding from my belly, exhaustion, heat stroke, anxiety that a human being is about to come out of me in one way or another . . . oh you mean contractions. why no thank you for reminding me . . . no contractions. :-)
On a rather exciting note . . . in an effort to get my into spring training for poopy diapers my loving pets have decided to throw me curve balls to prepare me!! Funny it always happens when Jeff is at work too . . . example 1 . . . Cooper drinking too much bay water. I will let you imagine what happens to a 90lb golden when he drinks too much salt water. The other good thing about owning a beautiful golden . . . his long luxurious fur including that on his tail. you put those two things together . . . lets just say I had to throw away some scissors because he had just had a bath and thought of a 2nd one was too daunting for me. Example #2 . . . my charming 12 year old cat who bless his heart got so excited upon seeing his food a couple of hours ago let a couple little things spill out the other end. I guess he needed the room. No please let ME clean that up. . . is it totally disgusting that I actually contemplated letting Cooper "take care of that problem" since that is a delicacy for him?? I think I have lost my mind.
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2 comments:
I really didn't need to know that about Cooper! Ha!
Been there done that too darlin! I have the catbox duty this month and I've come to learn Charlotte's target practice has much to be desired. She tends to aim for the bulleyes in the center of the catbox but instead during the pull out of the dive the G forces cause her to lob her sidewinders out of bounds and take out the friendlys! GAG ME!! Where is Cooper when I need him??
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